Looking Beyond …

thoughts and deliberations .. a theme is too restrictive

Having put my mouth where my money is……

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….. it is time to put my money where my mouth is.  Or in other words,  talk can be a dangerous thing.

What I have found is that  once I start verbalising thoughts it becomes much easier to act on them, and in the build up to my decision to search for a different work life, I have done a fair amount of verbalising.

It helps to talk, not least because one is obliged to make a fair attempt at putting together something coherent to express.  I become acutely aware that I haven’t thought things through properly when I attempt to voice them to those that know and understand me best.  These same people make no hesitation in pointing out the flaws in my thinking.  I thank God for them.

I mean that literally, because my brain is capable of taking me to some very unhelpful places and frequently does at times of self-doubt.  And so it has been, that the first thing I have had to address on my journey is the unavoidable matter of self-image.  I happen to believe that I was made in the image of God, so for me, this has meant exploring how the image I have of myself gets in the way of being who I was made to be.  But whatever you believe, or don’t believe, it is true to say that if you have a poor image of yourself, then you will certainly get in the way of fulfilling your potential.  By the very nature of the problem, this is a difficult one to sort out by yourself.  Good friends and family who believe in you are invaluable.  Ignore them at your peril.

Quite apart from this mentoring type of talking to which I refer, there is another kind of confidence boosting talk that has helped me thus far.  I think it is commonly known as bravado.  It goes something like this….. “I don’t intend to be in this job for much longer”…… or for me, more latterly ….”I’m thinking of taking a bridge year.  A year out to find a new direction” .  There was a particular day, just a few weeks ago when I must have voiced this to nine or ten different people on the same day.  People I barely knew but had bumped into in the street were getting a full run down of my proposals.  I was rather alarmed at myself.  But this all had a purpose.  Have you noticed that if you say something about yourself enough times, you come to believe it?

I tend to be a woman of my word.  If I say I am going to do something then almost without exception (although I can think of one now and feelings of guilt and panic are being fought back) I will do it.  I guess I must have mentioned that I was planning to move on a few times at work, and so it comes to be that having put my mouth where my money is,  I now find that I am having to put my money where my mouth is.  So perhaps my next blog entry will be all about how to plan for a year with no income.

 

 

 

 

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Author: HelenSaying

Dipped a toe in social media - now learning to swim. Otherwise engaged in mid life career change, but this is no crisis. Views all my own and of the moment.

7 thoughts on “Having put my mouth where my money is……

  1. Talk can be a dangerous thing but sometimes it’s our way of reassuring that it will be okay somewhere along the line. Taking the step out the boat so to speak and going against the “norm” is sometimes the scariest step. I know last year when for various reasons, actually taking the step out of the boat and deciding to leave made the biggest difference in my brain – to a certain degree I could count down the days until I was leaving and then the trusting in God came, what was I going to do next and how were we going to cover the bills. As it would happen my Mum’s Client needed a temp about 48 hours after I finished my last shift.

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  2. Talk is a dangerous thing!

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  3. I can totally relate to what you are saying. There are times however when I have to just trust my own feelings because what others tell me about myself does not always ring true. For example when I gave up my teaching job last summer way too many of my friends told me that I would be bored and that I should substitute teach. Not true I am not missing teaching at all.
    Living on less income is made easier when you don’t have to have nice shoes and clothes for work and when you don’t have to contribute every week when the pot goes around for someone who is getting married, having a baby, is sick or has lost a family member. Our children left home and now we freeze two meals that would otherwise have been consumed by them. Kevin has also planted a vegetable garden this year and if it thrives we will have so much produce from June -October we won’t need to buy any. There is a plentiful supply of fish in the lake if we fancy it but I guess eating fish out of the River Ouse is not something anyone would want to do. Moving to a smaller home helps too. Our taxes are half what they used to be and our heating bills went down dramatically in the winter when we bought a wood burning stove. I think Bedford has a clean air rule that would prohibit the burning of wood. I guess you will spend less on petrol as you can walk to shops and a post office from your home.
    I think our life on Earth is too short to be spent doing things that don’t make us happy. I know that we are blessed beyond belief to be in a situation where we can walk away from “work” What I don’t understand is why people who can afford to break away, don’t.

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    • Ros, I agree there are times when our own feelings are to be trusted but they are unlikely to be the times when our own negative thinking is stopping us from seeing our true selves. So glad you made the right decision for you. I am not sure that self-sufficiency in food, heating and produce is the way I will end up going, but I am all for it and it certainly looks like you are both now a lot happier. Enjoy the vegetables when they arrive.

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  4. Interesting thoughts Helen. I think we don’t think and talk about work enough. How many times do we accept without challenge what the government says about work, for example? I met a woman once who, when asked what she did for a living, apologised for not being employed but instead living off a not enormous inheritance. She led a happy and busy life and didn’t expect the state to help her- so why did she feel the need to apologise? And why did I understand that need?

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    • Yes Ruth, the message that our value comes from our profession, or the way we earn our money starts very early on. Even toddlers are asked what they want to be when they grow up and the answer is expected in the form of a job role. When friends and family politely enquire as to how our children are doing, we feel a need to answer in terms of grades and work prospects rather than personal achievements and character developments. It is hardly surprising that our self-worth is so easily linked to our earning power. I’m not expecting to claim any state benefits, and I am hoping that I wont find myself apologising for my self appointed “bridge year”.

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    • I was a student then unemployed, I’ve then had 4 jobs in 7 years, I’d often be asked what I did and not so much apologetically but more out of a sort of embarrassment I’d explain which ever one I was in. I think for a long time it was like “I have a degree and yet now i’m working in Customer Service” or generally along those lines. I’m now on Maternity Leave and having been on leave since about 4pm Friday afternoon I’ve pottered round the house and done chores, and actually the only deadline has been things like getting the bedding back on the bed before bed time or going to the supermarket before X happens. And you know what I’m probably happier than I thought I was before. I know that my husband is a little worried that I’m going to get bored or implode or something like that, for now I have plenty to potter around and do, give it a week or so when the nursery is finished then I’ll have the finishing touches to do to the nursery lol.

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