Lent over. Easter holidays at an end. 40 Acts faded into the background and a big sigh of relief?
No. Not really.
For one thing, the fading of the 40Acts requires some analysis. What happened to my staying power? The easy answer is that it just got up and left. Perhaps, if I was being kind to myself, I would acknowledge that the accumulation of suggestions, nudges, prompting and in some cases straight redirecting needed time for digestion. I might congratulate myself on reaching Day 33 before I started to disengage – certainly a lot further than on the previous two years I have tried. I could even be encouraged by the fact that I resurrected one of last year’s abandoned tasks to some positive effect.
For now though, I am disappointed. Strange how I managed to keep going all through times of crisis and difficulty in the family and then as soon as things started to calm down, I lost my focus! And, how alarmingly quickly did I move from:
read, digest, act (Days 1 – 31) to
read and digest, (Days 32 – 34)
read only (Days 34-36)
ignore (well there isn’t much point in making myself feel guilty is there?)
So now you know why it has all been quiet on the blogging front for a while. But it feels right to round off the series with a few more words.
Along came Easter Sunday, and with it a reason for hope. I am all too aware that I have failed to deliver as many acts of kindness that were prompted around me, that the impact of my generosity is infinitesimally small compared to that needed to impact the hurt and injustice that surrounds me – even only that which I can actually see. On the other hand, I am aware that this is not how I will be judged. I have no need to earn my way to being an acceptable person. It is ok for me to be just who I am – even if I fall and get up and fall and get up a few too many times.
And as who I am just happens to be someone who wants to live life more generously, I am recovering from my 40Acts indigestion and signing up for the next stage. I’m expecting it will be unscripted and undocumented but am hopeful that it will not be inconsequential.
Thank you for coming with me through 40Acts this year.